I had no idea of the weight that those words carried when I decided they would entitle the book I am writing.

I gave my life to Christ Jesus January 2003, and I stepped out in faith in a new life leaving behind 34 years of who I used to be; a person full of hate, rage, and bitter anger; a person who has always relied on himself and the anger that was inside to keep him strong no matter what I faced! I vowed the day I was sentenced, at the age of 14 for armed robbery, alone and beaten down, in a 5'x 10'cell that I would never be broken; not by the system, the guards,the police. No one would ever break me! I focused on the pain and betrayal that in turn led to rage which in turn led to my strength. I have done time in Alaska, Ohio, California, Washington, and Oregon. My hate and anger had always been there to make sure I would never loose a fight, that I would never br hurt agian physically or emotionally. Until January 2003, again alone in a jail cell, emotionally and mentally beaten down beyond anything i'd ever experienced. I'd had seen death come and take life and I knew somehow that God was speaking to my soul that day I gave my life over to Him. He had spoken to me many time through authors, through things I chose to ignore. But he finally had my attention as he knew he would that day."You have two choices, continue to be who you are and rely on what you know to get you through or die and be reborn in Me;go with what you don't know, have faith in Me that I will get you through; that I will make you strong. All day I fought it. I sat looking at some pictures of two very special women who he had blessed my life with. I felt so unworthy to have the love that he was blessing me with through them.



I finally couldn't stand it any more. I got on my knees crying, "Lord Jesus hear me, see me now before you Lord. I can't do it any more. This is it Lord.I've got nothing left. I'm broken before you. Lord, Jesus Christ in Heaven, hear me. I give you my life. I'm your's Lord. I don't wont to live anymore without you. Let me know who you are. Let me feel you. I'm on my knees bowing down to you. Lord, I make my covenant with you. Here and now Lord I give my life over to you for whatever Your Will shall be.Please Lord, Jesus keep them safe, spare them Lord. Know that my life is now Yours." This went on; me crying for nearly three hours. I fell asleep holding on to my Bible. I awoke the next morning, my fingers aching, exhausted. Two weeks later I was batized but from that day I gave my life. He was already working,strengthening me in my faith with one blessing after another." Here I'm with you.Feel me Adrian loving you. People, situations, there is nothing I can't do. There is no love greater then Mine." The more I turn to Him instead of myself, the more I look to him to strengh,the more He gave me.And then in febuary I recieved the biggest blessing of them all, the gift of the Holy Spirit. Who came upon me when I was agian alone in my cell. I was writing notes for my book and a part where he had come to me in a dream and I just started crying but it was a happy cry if you can feel that. For nearly 20 minutes I was on my knees praising him as he took every ounce of rage, anger,hate; every longing and replaced it with his love. His pure love, unconditional love. I had never felt anything like it in my life. Words are so inadequate to describe the love he poured into me that day. I've never had such peace and joy, knowing that it was from Him, my Father, my King. This is what I was looking for my whole life and was just to blined by the hate that consumed me to see out of the darkness that my life had become. I'd been asleep for a thousand years it seemed and He had opened my eyes to everything in an instant, through love, His love. I ask and He gives freely. I have good strong christian brothers in my life that he speaks to me through. I pick up the Bible and he speaks to me. I get a letter and he is speaking to me, to my soul, to my warm and safe place. I know that he is alive and in me working in my life for the good of his Glory, which today is all I live for.



Know that if he can save me the sinner that I am, the convict that I am, that if he can love me even in that, He can love you even more if you only open up your heart to Him. Let Him inside your warm and safe place. Step out in Faith and you will never be the same again. For whoever trusts in Him will never be put to shame (Romans 10:11) I waws found by those who were not asking for me (Romans 10:20).Today I live by faith in my Lord Jesus Christ. Faith in His love, faith in his saving grace. Faith, only the strong survive. I hope you can find it. Once you do you will never be the same again. God bless you all.

If anyone would like to write Adrian Rome Gargano they may at A.R.G c/o crisis clayhold of Ricke & Savage p.c. 140 s.w. yamhill st. Portland, OR 97204-3090